I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need to sanitize my soul.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
