I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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