is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
