She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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