when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
