im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
