I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
