What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
