I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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