remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
