i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
