Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
