Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize