I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
