I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
