you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Randomize
