you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
