I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My vagina just clenched in fear
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
