Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
