i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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