the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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