Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Operation Purity has been aborted
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
