omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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