wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Someone signed my nipple.
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