Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
as a side note pls kill me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
