Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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