I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
