I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize