All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
