Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His hands were made for my vagina.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
