Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
