Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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