benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
