Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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