Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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