If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
