I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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