I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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