I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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