16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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