and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
