i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
