just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
