i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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