I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
