You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
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