ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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