Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
