dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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