i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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