is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
