At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I need moral support for this bender
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
