i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
