Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize