So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
