I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
