He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
