well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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