If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
