Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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