not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
