Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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