Just fell off a train. Bad.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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