my phone needs a breathalizer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
