so that wasnt chicken after all
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
