I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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