i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
