It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
