Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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