Cold hands, warm shart.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
