Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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