He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize