this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
