Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
